The First Law of Nature is... where there's no space for envy.

My first mind for a long time has been to accommodate others so that others feel accommodated to. I'm not sure why, but I think it has to do with feeling left out a lot when I was a kid, so I'm empathic around those social exchanges. My uncle has this crazy habit of trying to help everyone that says they need help, even tho he knows that person refuses to help themselves and these relationships of being their helper has spanned decades with some. He gets it from his poor childhood with my mom and them.

I did this too much in my Kansas City photography career. It left me with no space or ability for self-investment as clients popped tags off new clothes around my home studio, often leaving weave trails and used eye lashes scattered around like wedding confetti. I'm the kind of 13-year divorced bachelor who cooks, cleans, washes, and vacuums (some American bs) so I know what I'm talking about. I found it disrespectful to ask me for a discount only to see the same client driving 4 hours to St. Louis for a Beyonce concert just a week later. In America and around the world I've seen how someone will exhibit an "I got it lifestyle" online, but be broke and past due for a solon appointment in person, or instead play broke in private dealings while maintaining the social media image of travel and colonist luxuries. The more strict I became about non-refundable deposits, my rates, and doing contracts the more people would get mad at me and talk about my color as if I had some certain nerve to do business the right way, not the fake friend way - "ohh the Caucasity of that white boy Matt Diamond." It's not uncommon for disputes around here to be waged with identity politics and irrelevant adjectives.

Photographer For Hire life in a mid-sized city - working mostly with dynamic and often vibrant, beautiful people - had so many amazing experiences and memories. However, economically it's the same as committing to remaining late on child support which translates to a monthly credit report marker. Irony always strikes, because my lifestyle choice allowed me to stay flexible enough to hit the highway to see my son, parents, and some select friends back in my hometown. I even got to take him for his first day of Kindergarten and 1st grade. My other option would have been to spare those visits and use that gas money to pay the state more support instead - that was never an option to me so I took the late bill and got in all the time I could when things were more simple. Aside from